Skip to main content

Navigating Faith and Academia: A Theologian’s Journey in RCIA

As I participate in the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA), I find myself at a unique intersection of deep faith and academic rigor. With a Master’s in Biblical Studies, my journey into the Catholic Church has been enlightening but, at times, perplexing.

Recently, during an RCIA session, I candidly shared my experience with Father. I expressed my love for the Church but also my struggle with the curriculum, which I found, frankly, quite boring. I mentioned my need for rest and healing from past traumas, hoping for understanding. His unexpected response was, “No! No! I will talk to God, because you need to be in the Catholic Church and to be able to take communion.”

In that moment, I felt a mix of admiration and frustration. While I respect his authority as a priest, his insistence highlighted a deeper, often unspoken hierarchy that permeates religious spaces. The idea that communion—the essence of divine grace—could be confined to a specific ritual and institution felt limiting.

When I challenged him, saying, “I am going to sound like a petulant child, but you don’t outrank God,” it marked a pivotal moment for me. Father then took my hand, leading me back to class and insisting, “It doesn’t matter if you find this boring; you need to be here.' then to the group  'Ask your questions, and this lady right here is a theologian; she can help!'”

While I appreciate his intentions, I feel stifled. Why is there such a strong push to conform to a path that doesn’t resonate with my journey? It’s frustrating to hear stories of others—like Scott Hahn—who encountered the priest just a few times and were seamlessly welcomed into the Church. 

This leaves me in a quandary: Should I continue in a process that feels limiting, or do I step away entirely? The temptation to walk away is strong in moments of frustration, but I know that leaving isn’t the solution.

I desire to be part of a community that encourages questions, challenges norms, and fosters growth—not one that insists on conformity for the sake of tradition. As I move forward, I will voice my frustrations and encourage dialogue, hoping to carve out a space where my theological insights can coexist with the communal experience of faith.

Navigating this journey is undeniably challenging, but perhaps it’s in this discomfort that true growth lies. I remain committed to exploring my faith, even as I grapple with the complexities of a system that often feels at odds with my understanding of God. In this process, I hope to find not just answers, but a deeper connection to a community that truly embraces the journey of faith in all its forms.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Navigating Faith: Grief, and Belonging

A little over a month ago, I lost my mom. I won’t lie—losing her has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Some days, it feels like I’m moving through fog, trying not to collapse under the weight of it. Grief has a way of reshaping everything, including how we see our place in faith communities. Recently, my priest returned from a month-long vacation. Before he left, he asked me to tell him my confirmation date when he came back. I told him I would pray about it—and I did. I prayed really hard. But tonight, the first time I saw him since he returned, he asked again. I told him I didn’t know, because honestly, I don’t want to be confirmed. His insistence left me feeling frustrated, ashamed, and exhausted. The truth is, I was verbally attacked by members of OCIA leadership during dinner one evening. That moment has stayed with me and made me realize I don’t want to join the Catholic Church. I just want to sit in a pew and be present quietly, without anyone telling me where I bel...
2 comments
Read more

Navigating Faith: Received, Not Rewritten: My Quiet Step into the Catholic Church

  Priest, me, my sponsor Today, I was   received into full communion with the Catholic Church. And if you’ve spent any time around church culture, you already know the responses: everything from the well-meaning (but deeply uncomfortable) “welcome home”… to the confused, “Why weren’t you received at the Easter Vigil?” So let’s talk about it. Not just what happened, but   why it happened the way it did. A Little About Me (Especially If You’re New Here) My name is Rai. I’m Southern Baptist by upbringing, a theologian by education, and I’ve served as a Methodist lay minister. My story isn’t one of spiritual emptiness—it’s one of a long, complicated, very real relationship with Christ. It’s also marked by church hurt. I’ve walked through pastoral failure, denominational fractures, and the kind of disillusionment that comes when the Church doesn’t live up to what it proclaims. And then, in December, my mom died. Grief like that changes everything. It strips away what’s perform...
Post a Comment
Read more

My First Week as a Catholic: Beautiful, Hard, and Honest

It has been a little over a week since I made my profession of faith in the Catholic Church—since I received my First Communion and was confirmed. In the days that followed, one question kept coming my way: “Rachel, how was your first week of being a Catholic?” If I am honest, it was a nightmare. That may not be the answer people expect—the polished, glowing testimony wrapped in sentimentality. But it is the truth.  I have always known that anti-Catholicism exists. I have studied it, encountered it, even anticipated it. But there is a particular sting when it comes not from strangers, but from people you love. There is a special kind of grief when family members do not ask how you are doing spiritually—not necessarily because they do not care, but because they do not understand. There is a quiet ache when conversations that once felt natural now feel strained. When the people who helped shape your love for Scripture seem unable to see where that love has led you.  There is a...
Post a Comment
Read more